Saying goodbye

Victoria my resilient little girl put on a brave face as we headed to the funeral home.  We intersected Megan in the parking lot and met up with Hunter and Angel as well to go inside.  Everyone was warm and welcoming to us.  It was nice.  Thomas, Tina's husband was very glad to see Victoria.  We all gathered together to go into the room where Tina was.  I kept reassuring Victoria that she didn't have to be brave and that whatever feeling she is feeling is perfectly normal.  The door opened and she froze.  I knelt down to her and put my arm around her.  She didn't want to approach the casket and I didn't push.  I just let her do what she needed to do.  She spent most of her time playing with her brother and sisters. She was very happy to see them.  It was also nice to meet Tina's sister.  Her and I had spoken on the phone multiple times as she informed me of the "real story" on many occasions.  Victoria asked me to take the envelope up to Tina and put it in the casket for her.  I approached alone and just took a minute to take this whole thing all in.  I asked forgiveness, I gave forgiveness and let her go.  Time to close that chapter and begin life in a new light.  Next step is to make legal what has been for the past 3 1/2 years.  I told James I want to adopt Victoria.  I told the family and I have their blessing.  I even talked to Victoria a bit about it and her response was "Yep Mommy, I think that is a good idea."  then leaned over on my arm while I was driving and gave me a kiss.  I think we are going to be alright....