A punch in the gut called reality

This morning I was needing to plunge the toilet due to excessive toilet paper use of preschoolers.  In the middle of the process with water up to the rim of the bowl Anthony decides to come in, drop his pants, and proceed to pee right on my plunger.  I look down at him and he responds to me be looking right back up at me and saying "Hey I am peeing here!" then his attention goes right back to his current activity.  So funny. Apparently I was in HIS way.

Last night after service we ate at Northside Cafe.  They have food there for $1 and we usually take advantage of it in between services when I am working upstairs.  I was in line and noticed the people I was in line with had a coupon.  I proceeded over to the baked potato bar and a man followed me and we struck up a conversation about baked potatoes.  We talked about working in kitchens in our past.  He then said "I can't believe the situation I am in now.  I used to cook high dollar steaks and now I can't scrounge enough change to buy juice in the morning." He then went on to tell me that he had been out of work for over 3 years and told me that he didn't have a place to stay.  I asked if he knew about Exit 0 our homeless ministry and he said that he had been going to their dinners since the ministry started. I handed him my money in my hand and told him to go and get him some breakfast in the morning. 

 I stood there with my hamburger and baked potato for myself and food for my kids and I couldn't help but think of how easily I opened up my wallet and grabbed some money that was easily accessible to me and paid for food that was dirt cheap to me and had a conversation with someone that was able to eat only because he had a coupon.  Who was I?  This could have easily been me or anyone that I know.  I have spend 3 weeks complaining about stupid carpet color and this man looks for a safe place outside to sleep.  I felt so convicted of my selfishness that I had to make my way to my table quickly so that he couldn't see my emotion that was pouring over me.  I just felt horrible.  God has blessed me immeasurably and I have been standing around with my arms crossed saying "But God, the carpet, the wallpaper.."  and God has been saying "Hey I'm trying to bless you here." It took a good punch in the gut of reality to see how selfish I was being and how much I was overlooking how blessed I was.  I am sorry my words have been used with me complaining about how much I want to change about the home and not about how extremely excited I am about how God is blessing my family.