Plans for the day, Wake up, Survive, Go back to bed.

I have to admit, I had a ball at Travis and Marlina's wedding last night. Everything went off without a hitch and we danced the whole reception, it was great. The food was amazing, and the staff at 300 Spring was top notch! I highly recommend them to anyone getting married or need to rent a space for any function. I have never seen anything go so smoothly.

But, now reality has settled back in. All of the dust has settled from the wedding bliss and I have to be honest I feel like I have been emotionally ran over. Victoria has been off the charts with her behavior. James and I have exhausted what we feel are all methods of discipline, nothing seems to be working!!! I am at my wits end. I have contemplated just running outside with my hands in the air screaming, scaring everything in my path and running straight ahead through buildings and whatever else my be in my path, just leaving "mom freaking out" holes in everything I have left behind. I called my mom from the wedding to check on the kids, she was feeling my pain too with her along with my sister. She said that she wanted to call and have us come and get her a few hours earlier in the day she just couldn't handle her. I just don't know what to do with her, I feel like I have tried everything and I have ran out of answers.

This past month has just been really rough. I feel like Satan has focused on me more than others here in the past 5-6 weeks. I have ,for some reason, listened and believed every word he has said. He has been very successful at stealing my joy, confidence, self-worth, devaluing me as a human being, and testing the loyalty of people close to me. From finding out that one of my step daughters, old enough to know better, knowingly, was the one that brought lice into our home, and was told to "Grow up and get over ourselves" ,by her mother when I confronted her and her daughter about it, to people that I love lying to me by omission. I just feel very broken these days and exhausted from life.

I don't mean to complain or say that my problems are the end of the world. I am well aware that things that I deal with on a day to day basis are a drop in the bucket compared to others. I am not wanting anyone to feel sorry for me, or to feel like they need to help fix anything. I just need some extra prayers and an umbrella from this storm.